This song... oh boy. For one, it's by Grammy winning artist Meghan Trainor (though we all know how useless Grammies are). I discovered her around the same time everyone else did, with the release of her first smash hit All About That Bass. That song, along with the entire album it came from, is a good reminder of why no one makes doo-wap anymore.
Her latest album Thank You is an improvement, but only slightly. There's no Dear Future Husband, so that's a plus. She's also abandoned the doo-wap for straight pop, thank God. Reviews weren't too positive, though. So, yeah, no expectations going into this. What have we to deal with? Let's find out.
The production on this beast is by Ricky Reed. He produced Ride, a song I've covered before, along with Fireball by Pitbull and John Ryan and Talk Dirty by Jason Derulo, both of which had solid production. Then again, he also produced a couple of songs I hate, including Wiggle, also by good ol' Derulo, which I might add is the worst song about butts I've ever heard. Speaking of Derulo, that guy's influence is all over this; he even has a small writing credit. And yeah, this is along the lines of some of his worst material.
It's this repetitive, droning beat, it's two-thirds of this thing. No substance whatsoever, and somehow less annoying than I thought it would be. The other third is boring guitar twanging and snapping, super-boring. Yeah, you can certainly feel the cheapness.
Oh, yeah, the writing. The worst part. You know how rappers have this annoying tendency to rap about how rich and egotistical they are even though their audience is nowhere near as successful as they are? I like to call it "brag rap." This song is like if someone decided to sing some brag rap. It's evident in the very first verse.
"Who's that sexy thing I see over there? That's me, standing in the mirror."
"What's that icy thing hanging 'round my neck? That's gold, show me some respect."
I never thought the woman who helped Boring McBoreface (actual name Charlie Puth) sing the classic "Marvin Gaye," pretty much the lamest sex song since Afternoon Delight, would go from that to just being really goddamn annoying. It's like a really rich white girl showing off her jewelry to a homeless man.
"If I was you, I'd wanna be me too." No, I wouldn't. I'm perfectly happy being myself, thank you. This isn't an empowerment anthem, because she's pretty much telling you "I am better than you will ever aspire to be." At least Kanye West was good at convincing you he actually was that rich and successful. At least Kanye West has musical talent, not to mention some really good albums under his belt. Meghan has... a song about butts, outdated gender roles, and now this.
Are there any positives? It's short? Around 3:01. It's about thirty seconds shorter than most other pop songs. But seriously, just skip it. It's probably not technically as bad as Gold, but I feel much more strongly toward it. Skip this.
SCORE: 3/10
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