Review: Closer (The Chainsmokers feat. Halsey)

I said I wasn't going to review this song a few posts ago, but... something has come up. Namely, a lack of interesting new songs, and this song's position. It has recently become the new number one on the Billboard Hot 100. This... okayness is currently the biggest song in the country. I figure this is a perfectly good reason to talk about it. This is probably going to be super-short, so I might as well talk about our contributors, first.

First, there's The Chainsmokers. This DJ duo from New York City includes Andrew Taggart and Alex Pall. The two first got big with their viral hit #Selfie, an absolutely abysmal piece of garbage made exclusively to cash in on a trend. I thought that these guys would become poster boys for the term "One-Hit Wonder." I was proven wrong when just this year, they've had three top ten hits, this one included (note that #Selfie only peaked at number 16, and failed to make the year-end). I actually quite liked Roses (featuring highly-obscure singer Rozes) and Don't Let Me Down (featuring up-and-coming teen pop star Daya), their two other hits this year. The former was dark, yet sleek and romantic, and the latter was an aggressive party jam. I'm a bit hopeful for these guys.

Meanwhile, there's Halsey, who contributes her voice to this track. Halsey is a pop singer, mainly appealing to hipster millennials. Her music has positive enough reviews, sure, but I can't help but think of a certain one of her songs whenever I hear her voice. That, of course, is New Americana. New Americana sounds interesting in the verses, it's a dark electropop song, I usually love those. Then you actually listen to the lyrics, and it all falls apart. High on legal marijuana, raised on Biggie and Nirvana, I get it. I just don't like it. It's sloppy and plasticky.

But yeah, let's actually talk about the song.

"Eh."

There you have it, my thoughts on the song. It's just "eh." Not good, not bad, just... "eh." Everything about this song is just plain average. 

This is some of the weakest production I've heard from these guys all year. They went from catchy, yet unique compositions to something a five year old could play on a piano. That's automatically one strike against this song. What about the lyrics?

They're confusing. I gather that the two singers have been separated for something of four years and collectively decide they want to see each other again. All of that is fine. Then the bridge starts, and they're rambling about biting tattoos and stealing mattresses. It's all foreign to me, to be quite frank. Neither singer is too amazing, either.

So there you have it, there's my thoughts on this song. I literally only did this because I was running out of material. Expect a new post within the next week or so.

SCORE: 5/10