The Absurdly Late Top 10 Best Hit Songs of 2017 (with honorable mentions)

It's two (nearly three) months late, but... hey. It's nice to remember stuff.

Here we are. It's time to take our gloves off and toss them in the trash, these songs don't need them. Yep, these are the songs I would actually listen to again. Honestly, this list was a lot harder than the worst list because there were a lot more songs this year that I actually liked. There were even songs I had to cut altogether because I didn't have enough room. A darn shame, but that's how it is.

As always, I have seven honorable mentions that I'd like to get through first before I can talk about the absolute best this year had to offer. With that said, let's just plain do it.

Let Me Love You (DJ Snake ft. Justin Bieber) (YE Position: #46)

Another repeat from last year. Generally, if I have any potential repeats, I'll only talk about one in depth, no more, no less. But yeah, this is still pretty amazing. This is here for the same reason Starving was on the honorable mentions of the worst list, I wanted to give the newer songs a chance to shine. With that said, I'd probably put this around #8 or #7 on the best list otherwise, it's still really solid.

Redbone (Childish Gambino) (YE Position: #25)

Behold, the absolute weirdest song to get popular this year. Especially odd considering how high it placed, 25/100 is no joke. But yeah, here's famous comedian and actor Donald Glover using his rap stage name Childish Gambino to sing some soul music with a hint of 60s/70s throwback. What could go wrong? Memes, that's what. Thanks to this song's usage in memes, it shot up the charts and eventually peaked at #12 on the weekly Hot 100. "What Redbone would sound like if ____" videos were everywhere in May and June of 2017, and I'm thankful for them because they let something weird, different, yet catchy and memorable gain more traction than it would have otherwise. Thank you, memes, what would I do without you?

 Feel It Still (Portugal. The Man) (YE Position: #45)

Speaking of throwbacks, here's a song all about throwbacks. Portugal. The Man are insanely indie, so this crossing over was very much along the lines of Redbone crossing over; weird and unexpected. Only, instead of memes, this song got big off of commercial appearances. At least it's better than Thunder. I already did a review of this, so go ahead and check that out for more detailed information. But yeah, the retro-throwbacks don't always work, but besides that we still have a solid little party song here. Good for rebelling just for kicks.

Passionfruit (Drake) (YE Position: #65)

https://open.spotify.com/track/5mCPDVBb16L4XQwDdbRUpz

(again, no video, so use Spotify, the link should work)

Yay, an actual good Drake song. Joy to the world. Passionfruit here is a good song for creating a moody kind of vibe when you wanna think about relationships that just didn't work out. Just take this one that's described here, it's in the process of not working out but Drake here is just hoping that it can. Long distance relationships are risky, I'm sure, and here Mr. Aubrey Graham is talking about an attempt to make it work but... well, it's long-distance. Long-distance just generally doesn't work out, he knows it, but he doesn't know any other way he can even try to make it work. It's sad.

Malibu (Miley Cyrus) (YE Position: #89)

I don't think anyone was expecting any kind of return-to-form for Miley Cyrus when she put this out back in May. I mean, sure, it fell off hard, but so did a bunch of songs this year. But anyway, Malibu. It's nice to see artists mature, so this was a nice thing to hear. Gone is Bangerz-era Miley, and now we have country-esque Miley. Malibu is just a song that makes me happy every time I hear it, it's honestly surprising. It's a really pleasant, really sentimental kind of tune that gives me oddly nostalgic vibes, and I feel great listening to this.

iSpy (Kyle ft. Lil Yachty) (YE Position: #28)

Yep. No, they're not tiny, it's just a weird and creepy video. I'd just minimize the video while you listen to the song. Much like Malibu above, it's mostly a happy vibes kind of song. Instead of being warm and soft, this is light-hearted and goofy. Not much to say, other than Kyle's a surprisingly solid performer with a lot of good work under his belt, go check him out.

Drowning (A Boogie wit da Hoodie ft. Kodak Black) (YE Position: #81)

This is the version without Kodak because I like this version better, bite me. He's ugly and I hate him and I would never support anything he does... which is why I'm here supporting a song he featured on. Huh. Anyway, this is probably the one I can justify my fondness for the absolute least, I'm not even sure if this is a good song or not. Then again, the same thing applies to my #10 pick, so... oh well. Honestly, you could consider this a joint entry with Magnolia by Playboi Carti, but I chose this one as even though Magnolia had one of my favorite beats of the year, A Boogie's delivery is just so much more interesting and less mockery-inducing than Carti ever will be. Plus, this has an actual hook, and by God it's catchy. One of the catchiest rap songs of the year, even if it doesn't have much lyrical depth.

Well, here we are. The top 10. I'm just as ashamed of some of these picks as you're gonna be. With that said, here it goes.

10. XO Tour Llif3 (Lil Uzi Vert) (YE Position: #13)

No, that's not real Arabic in the subtitles, it's gibberish. But yeah, XO Tour Llif3. I'm not even sure if this belongs in the top 10, but whatever, it's here anyway. 2017 was a good year for overall weird-sounding hits and songs to cross over. If you want an example... this isn't it, number 9 and 8 are but whatever. I was gonna go on about how there was so much trap music on that year-end list, it was definitely a significant percentage. This was honestly one of my favorites to cross over, and for good reason. The word of the day, kids, is "interpretation." How one person interprets a song may be different from how another person interprets it. Where you see a mindless drug and money-flexing anthem, I see a song about a tortured youth resorting to hiding his emotions with a vapid lifestyle and opioid abuse to try and get over a break-up. Sure you may find his voice annoying, I'm sure a lot of people do, but I can tolerate it. The song's really deeper than a lot of people give it credit for. Maybe I'm delusional, but I can find a lot to like here.

9. Sign of the Times (Harry Styles) (YE Position: #87)

I know a lot of people went crazy for this track, and really, I can't say the same. It's pretty solid, though, can't argue against that. It's really strange seeing something like this chart, though it really shouldn't be. Harry Styles was always the one people assumed would have the most successful solo career of anyone from One Direction... and of course that's not how it's worked out. Zayn Malik and Niall Horan have had far more successful solo careers because they've been following music trends. Harry Styles is off doing his own thing and making 70s-inspired rock, with this being the most popular and ballad-y of the bunch that got any sort of attention. This is just a big song, that's the best way I can describe it, it's just... big. Styles's voice is loud and booming when it has to be, yet soft when it has to be soft as well. The production is just... big, it all feels very natural. Nice to have real-sounding instruments once in a while. And of course it just absolutely massive once the chorus rolls around and the song nears its end. What a grand song.

8. Down (Marian Hill) (YE Position: #90)

Remember Gold by Kiiara? Imagine that, but good, and you have this. Here we have Philadelphia-based electronic duo Marian Hill (staring producer Jeremy Lloyd and singer Samantha Gongol) and their song that got big off of an Apple commercial. This is minimalism done right, this is vocal stutter loops done right, this is so many bad pop cliches done correctly it's honestly not even funny. While Gold was glitchy and unfinished-sounding, this feels like a cohesive product, and it's all the better for it. A nice little bit of piano, hi-hats, and some really nice vocals from Samantha Gongol help set the tone for an overall great song to vibe to. I haven't heard to any of Marian Hill's other work, but if it's anything like this, I'd totally dig it.

7. Location (Khalid) (YE Position: #21)

Lil Uzi Vert may have topped Billboard's Best New Artist list, but the real breakout artist of the year was Khalid. American Teen was a surprisingly decent album with quite a few standout tracks, this one included. This here is a fairly slow, fairly moody bit of R&B that wound up being something of a sleeper hit with surprise longevity. I mean, it only peaked at #16 on the Hot 100 and yet there it is as the 21st biggest song of the year. I'm all the happier for it, this is something that took a while to grow on me. It seems like a generic love song, but it really isn't, there's a lot of heart here. It's a song about young love from a guy who feels like he's genuinely felt it, it feels like he's been there. It helps that Khalid here is a young guy himself... also oh God his voice is amazing I love it. So yeah, real genuine song, real beautiful sound, I like it.

6. Water Under The Bridge (Adele) (YE Position: #88)

Man, these "- Topic" YouTube channels are really a blessing. Shame none of Drake's new music is up on his or I'd use those instead of Spotify links for those songs, but oh well. Similar to Location, which took a fair bit of time to grow on me, this took me until the making of this very list to realize how much I loved it. Adele is a goddess, nothing is going to change that, I adore her greatly and dearly and anyone who disagrees is... wrong, or something, I don't know. But yeah, this song. Not much to say about it, in all honesty. It's one of Adele's few actual love songs, most of her material deals with either nostalgia or nasty break-ups. I'm glad she decided to do something different because, being the goddess she is, she can make it work regardless. Her grandiose delivery lends well to this kind of song and helps it feel big and powerful in all the right ways.

5. What About Us (Pink) (YE Position: #84)

Nice to have you back making actual good music, Pink. I'm glad for you. So yeah, this is Pink's big hit single from her new-ish album Beautiful Trauma. Overall, not a perfect album, but it was a pleasant listen. Now, this was Pink's first real great single in a long time, you may remember that I wasn't too fond of Just Like Fire last year for example. But this... wow. I think my favorite thing about it is the backing instrumental. Oh, and Pink's voice, that's always a plus. Honestly, there's not a lot to say about this besides... well, it's nice. It's also weirdly political for a Pink song, usually she's got other stuff to be angry about, but she's going straight for the topical issues here. More and more, people are coming to the realization that the world is terrible and nothing is done about it, and people are bitter and upset about it, and this kinda shows that in a basic, yet still kinda authentic way.

4. Paris (The Chainsmokers) (YE Position: #42)

...featuring uncredited vocals from Emily Warren. There's your elephant in the room. But yeah, this is a song built entirely around the production, and by God is this some great production work. I mean, sure, Andrew Taggart is an okay singer, I guess, and Emily Warren kind of exists, I guess, but they aren't why this works. Far from it, if anything they're the weakest parts. No, much like What About Us above, I'm here for that sweet production. It's sleek and glossy, like an old disco tune. In fact, it reminds me of a very specific song from earlier this decade, M83's Midnight City, a song that garnered astounding amounts of acclaim and is widely regarded as one of the best mainstream EDM tunes of the entire decade. And I mean, sure, Paris is probably a ripoff, but it's better than trying to rip off Meghan Trainor at least. It's that saxophone, oh my God the saxophone. Any song with a saxophone is improved tenfold in my books.

3. Unforgettable (French Montana ft. Swae Lee) (YE Position: #15)

...I can't believe it either. That really annoying dude from Rae Sremmurd teamed up with French Montana, the most boring man alive, to create a real jam of a tune. Turns out the best way to make Swae Lee sound good is to drown him in autotune to try and make him sound as much like The Weeknd as humanly possible (Starboy is still great, by the way), and really he's the one who's carrying this track, French Montana is surprisingly on here very briefly. To that, I say... oh well. That's fine, I guess. Like Paris above, I'm mostly here for that production work. It has a very interesting dancehall inspired tune, but it's far from the tropical house sound that dominated 2016 and early 2017, and I'm all the more thankful for it. And... by God, Swae Lee actually sounds amazing with all those filters over his voice, it's kinda surprising. I'm just trying to stretch this out longer than I have to, really, it's just a solid song and I don't have a lot of words for it. Take a listen if you haven't already.

2. DNA (Kendrick Lamar) (YE Position: #62)

God of hip hop, everyone. Kendrick Lamar first saw recognition around 2011 thanks to his breakthrough album Section.80, which paved the way for several critically acclaimed projects including his most recent album DAMN., which isn't quite his most critically-acclaimed album but is definitely his most successful single-wise, having three top-20 singles... and this isn't even one of them. Yeah, this wasn't released as a single and yet made it on the year end list anyway thanks to that amazing music video featuring Don Cheadle as well as the buzz surrounding that Fox News sample. Besides all that, it's a surprisingly introspective where he goes through various topics in rapid fire succession, ranging from his heritage, culture and success to how others see him because of these things. It's very fast-paced, it's very energetic and aggressive, but it's not angry. It's reflective, but at the same time, it's good pump-up music. Yeah, I think you'll notice a pattern with my favorite songs this year, a lot of them were great because they gave me a good vibe, and this was definitely my pump-up jam for the year. So yeah if you like your workout music to be smart and lyrically genius, go ahead and give this a shot. Plus, that second half... wow. I'm not going to spoil it, but he really goes hard there.

1. Slide (Calvin Harris ft. Frank Ocean and Migos) (YE Position: #71)

Here we are, my number one, and it's by artists I've had a history of disliking, much like my #3. Calvin Harris, the maker of trashy EDM from the early-2010s. Frank Ocean, a talented but generally boring and moody singer. Migos... they made Bad and Boujee. I have plenty of reason not to like this. Yet I love it. I love it a lot. This is one of the best summer jams we've gotten in a long while. Every single element here comes together in a magical kind of way, this song might actually be too perfect. There's literally nothing wrong with it. Not even the higher-pitched intro and outro, the piano that goes with it makes it sound really nice. Not even Frank Ocean's delivery, it's breezy enough to go with the instrumental. Not even Migos, whose flows are some of the best of their entire career. Heck, not even Calvin Harris messes up here, this is by far the best instrumental he's ever done. Slick, shiny, and taking plenty of inspiration from the 70s and 80s, it's the glue that keeps the track together. And really, that's what a #1 song should be like. Everything needs to fit together like the pieces of a puzzle, and what a wonderful puzzle this is. Thank you all for being patient, and I'll see you when I see you.