Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Top 10 Best Hit Songs of 2016

It's time to brush off all of the garbage and look through the gold! That's right, I'm counting down the very best of the best, the cream of the crop, of 2016. Remember my previous rules, and know that this time, I will be including two extra honorable mentions. I felt that after all of the bashing and raging, I didn't want 2016 to die out in a whimper. I wanted this year to be remembered for years to come. So, with that out of the way, let's get this show on the road!

Honorable Mentions

Too Good by Drake ft. Rihanna
(this song does not have a music video and I didn't want to encourage piracy so just listen to this song on Spotify or something)
This is a confusing song, and I'm not really sure what to make of it. Is it really that great? I don't know. Maybe it's just the overall sound this song is going for.  It's partially inspired by Soca music, a genre originating in Trinidad and Tobago in the 1970s. There's also a bit of R&B in there, but overall it's just plain moody. Seriously, this song is depressing. It's about a failed relationship where neither partner is really satisfying the other in any way, whether sexually or romantically, but they still want to fix everything and make things work out. It's kind of similar to Take Care, a song the pair put out back in 2012 about an equally-troubled relationship. I liked that song quite a bit, so that might be influencing my feelings quite a bit here. Overall, it's a pretty decent song.

i hate u, i love u by Gnash ft. Olivia O'Brien
Never doubt the power of a lousy haircut. This song has been my mortal enemy since I first heard it on Spotify earlier this 2016, mostly because I could never justify why I liked it so much. Pretty much everyone else I ask has said they hate this thing. It's too whiny, too depressing, not performed well at all, etc. I don't know how you feel about that, but I just really like the song. Do I have a good reason for why? No. But hey, I like depressing songs as long as that's what they're going for, and this is definitely an example of that. An honorable mention placement feels oddly prophetic, like it was meant to be ever since I first heard it. This is one prophecy I'm glad came true.

All In My Head (Flex) by Fifth Harmony ft. Fetty Wap
If you haven't realized it yet, I'm not too keen on Fifth Harmony. If I'm going to listen to a pop girl group, I'll just listen to The Spice Girls. This song is, for the most part, the exception. I think it might be Fetty Wap's absolutely magnetic presence on the third verse. He draws you in like nothing else, it's crazy. The members of Fifth Harmony themselves don't give bad performances themselves, each contributing something to the song in question that is at least memorable. I can actually tell them all apart now, for one thing. It's a party song about sex that's actually sort of sexy. Not much to be disappointed about here.

Tiimmy Turner by Desiigner
There's not much to say here. I just really like the production. The key change is probably the most satisfying key change I have heard all year. You really don't have to pay attention to the lyrics, they're sort of an instrument on their own. It's all about the beat, and that alone makes it my favorite straight-up hip hop track of the year (at least among hits).

Perfect by One Direction

 This song notched the very bottom slot of the year-end list, and I'm happy for it. I've heard some say it's a response to Style, a Taylor Swift song that's been rumored to be about her former relationship with Harry Styles, a member of One Direction. If it is, then it certainly shows that Harry handled the situation a lot more gracefully. It's fairly upbeat by failed-relationship-song standards, so it's got that going for it. Otherwise, yeah, not much to say it's a generally pleasant counterpart to the bittersweet Style, go ahead and check it out, this band really started to get tolerable after their second or third album, do not underestimate them.

Don't Let Me Down by the Chainsmokers ft. Daya

This is not my favorite Chainsmokers song, we'll get to that in a bit. Still, it's a fairly decent track. I'm not a huge fan of the first drop, it 's really off-putting and hurts the song a decent bit. However, I really do adore the second drop, it sounds amazing, and Daya's singing is fairly good on this. I enjoy the production on the verses, too, and really, this kind of song is all about the production. They're electronic music producers, not The Neptunes, I tend to have lower standards for these guys. Yeah, it's a flawed song, but overall enjoyable.

Cheap Thrills by Sia ft. Sean Paul

I don't love this song as much as I used to, but I still think it's pretty good. It's about being broke but still loving your life, partying and having a good time. You don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight. Yeah, I'll admit it's basically just a rejected Rihanna track, but I can't imagine this working quite as well if Rihanna performed it. I know a lot of people find this song painfully average, but it's still worth at least a listen.



The List Proper

Number 10: Ride by Twenty One Pilots
If you can't tell, sometimes depressing songs are really fun. Take this reggae-influenced pop rock track by indie favorites Twenty One Pilots, for example. A sleeper hit if there ever was one, this song originally came out in May of 2015 and yet wasn't released to radio until the following year, upon which it became a genuine smash, reaching number 5 on the Hot 100. I'm glad it did, it was one of the better songs off of Blurryface. If you want a happy song, you're not getting it here, look back in 2015 or something. It's a song about how life is terrible, people are terrible to each other, Tyler's terrible to himself, thinking about death is fun, why can't I be happier, oh God life sucks and we've all got crippling depression. Seriously, this thing is depressing. If you want to feel sad, but at the same time listen to some steel drums and synth overload, go on right ahead.

Number 9: Ex's & Oh's by Elle King
Now, I remember first hearing this song several months before it actually got popular, it was on a CD. This is probably the greatest example of a sleeper hit, as it was released in September of 2014, but didn't begin to chart until later the following year, and managed to carry over into 2016, hence why it's here. This is a supremely confident song with an awesome chorus, plus a great performance from Elle King herself. Though I do admit the music video is rather uncomfortbale. It's supposed to be this ironic reversal of "female objectification" in music videos for male performers, but I don't know, it just makes me uneasy. But hey, maybe that's the point and the other way around makes women uncomfortable. Either way, it's still a great song that's always worth a listen.

Number 8: Roses by The Chainsmokers ft. Rozes
Now here's that favorite Chainsmokers song I mentioned. This thing is more about the groove than the lyrics, like that last one I mentioned in the honorable mentions. There's a fairly chilling, futuristic vibe going on here. This is the result of Roses being of the "future bass" genre, one that is traditionally bass-heavy and wavy. That's probably how I'd describe this track, too. It's a weirdly soft, yet epic track with very little meaning, but it's all about the production. If you're gonna make the song all about the production, you'd better have good production, and that's what's going on here.

Number 7: Cold Water by Major Lazer ft. Justin Bieber and MØ
Here comes Super Bieber, in his first appearance on this list. The next one will be fairly soon, so stick around for that. But yeah, Cold Water, what can you say? It's really a lot like how Roses was mostly about the production, only instead of future bass, we're going straight EDM. It's quiet and subtle when it needs to be, but when it has to get loud, it really cranks up the volume. It gets loud, it gets epic, it's a party train that never stops. What, you need substance? It's a love song, there's your substance for ya, throw away your Nirvana CD and shut up. The love aspect works well, but it's really about the party. Party time, excellent, doodly-doodly-doo. You get the gist of it.

Number 6: Starboy by The Weeknd ft. Daft Punk
So, I did not have a lot of hope going into The Weeknd's third major studio album Starboy, mostly because I wasn't a huge fan of the album that came before it. Sure, there were some standout singles, but on the other hand, The Hills was both an overplayed song and an awful one, and there were very few memorable album tracks. When Starboy came out... sure it had many of the same problems. The singles were still good, though. Take the lead single from that album, also called Starboy, for example. If at first you think the lyrics are vapid, shallow, and have a frat boy-like attitude... yeah, that's kind of the point. This and most of the singles off of it have a much edgier attitude than last time around, and that definitely helps. It's about how, despite how extravagant and fun the celebrity lifestyle appears, it also exposes one's inner demons and makes them fragile, prone to breaking. It's basically turned this character into a petty jerk who spends extravantly, is extremely vulnerable, and he's basically a pathetic wreck now. It's a gloriously dark song handled extremely well.

Number 5: Let Me Love You by DJ Snake ft. Justin Bieber
One might argue that this does not deserve to be here. Therefore, one would be wrong. This is my highest-scoring song that I have reviewed so far (I'm not counting Get Lucky), and though one song I've reviewed has risen above its previous rank, this is still a glorious piece. We've got DJ Snake being DJ Snake here, and though I do admit he was upstaged by someone else (we'll get to them near the top of the list), he still didn't have a bad year. I don't know if this is even the best song he put out this year, but it's his best hit at least. The verses have an airy, somewhat upbeat vibe despite the key, and I've got to give Justin Bieber plenty of credit for actually projecting some emotion with his infamously personality-less voice. This is definitely the best thing that Bieber has put out this year. It looks like this song's gonna appear on the 2017 year-end list as well, so that's awesome. Overall, DJ Snake provides the good sounds, and my shrine worshiping him has continued to find reason to exist. 

Number 4: In the Night by The Weeknd
On this single from his Beauty Behind the Madness album, The Weeknd sings about his favorite topic: Women doing things that really aren't good for their physical/mental health. In this case, it's stripping and having abusive partners. If you take a shot every time he says the word "she," I bet you'll get sick before you finish the song. Joking aside, I really love this thing. This is definitely the most "pop" The Weeknd has ever gotten, and even after he released his third album, it's still the most "pop" thing he's ever done. For one, it's produced by Max Martin, the most prolific pop producer of the 21st century. Second... well, it's literally just vaguely-80's throwback pop music. There's no walking around it. But sure, I'll take it. The Weeknd really does sound a lot better when he's not trying to do low and crooning, because the dude's voice is so high-pitched it's hard to take him seriously when he does that. Insanely catchy, dark vocals... all elements of a good pop song.

Number 3: Hymn for the Weekend by Coldplay
This is basically the surprise pick for the top 10, and I don't think anyone loves this song as much as I do. It pained me that this wasn't the list-topper, but alas, it was not meant to be. Coldplay had a really good year (heck, Adventure of a Lifetime just narrowly missed the cut for the honorable mentions because I didn't start to appreciate it until very recently), and this is the most notable evidence of that. This is definitely the catchiest, most fun pop song to come out this year. Everything about this feels so... pleasant. The lyrics are all about feeling in love, it's like if booze and drugs didn't shut down your organs and kill you from the inside. All you get are the positive vibes. Love's like drugs, it gets you high. That's basically the gist of the lyrics. The production and performances are all a fun time, a great time to be had. It's fun, it's amazing, and it makes me super-happy whenever I listen to it.

Number 2: I Took a Pill in Ibiza (SeeB Remix) by Mike Posner
Remember this guy, Mike Posner? He had a few hits in 2010-2011 but only the first one, Cooler Than Me, is well-remembered today. After those years he slipped into obscurity, wrote a few songs for Justin Bieber and Maroon 5, and reemerged with his acoustic album At Night, Alone, with this being the only hit off of that album. Nevertheless, it wasn't until the Norwegian production duo (now trio) Seeb got a hold of it that this song really started to take off, and I'm thankful for it. The remix got rid of every negative aspect of the original and amplified all of the good stuff. This is a depressing song where Posner reflects on how he's not famous anymore based on this experience he had on a trip to Ibiza, an island near Spain. Basically, he's at this party that the Swedish music producer Aviici had invited him to, he's super-drunk, and only one person actually recognizes his guy, and the one guy offers him the titular pill. After the pill and the booze wore off, he sobered up and "felt ten years older." The realizations it brought on hit him like a truck, so he wrote this song. It's an absolutely fascinating topic for a song, and it certainly made for a good one. While the original was acoustic folk pop, Seeb's remix is straight house music, which in an odd way made the song more upbeat and at the same time a whole lot sadder. It took me a while to realize how great this song was, but now every time I listen to it I can appreciate all of the great stuff going on here. If you want more of Seeb's material, they've got a really good remix of the above Hymn for the Weekend that's basically just as good as the original. Hell, I'd argue that remix was the only reason that song managed to do so well in the United States in the first place. Seriously, check it out.

Number 1: Into You by Ariana Grande
Near-perfection. Everything about this song is great. Literally everything is worth remembering, worth listening to, it's an instant classic. Though it's not the most fun to jam to, it's not the most meaningful, or even the most interesting, it's easily the most perfect. There is literally nothing wrong here. Nothing. The performance is great. The production is great. The writing is great. It's actually sexy. Like, it's a song about wanting to shag that actually feels like the singer actually wants to shag. That's not a mental vision anyone needs, but hey, still better than "Let's Marvin Gaye and get it on," the single worst metaphor for sex I've ever heard during my pop music listening adventures. There's very little I have to say about this song, just listen for yourself. Seriously, it's great.

This is to the end of 2016. See you guys soon, and have a happy new year.

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